Infinitely Suffering Thing
by SllnaaEsh
Summary: CopDoc AU . Tamsin reluctantly takes an offer she can't refuse in order to ensure her spot for tenure at UC Berkeley. She never thought she'd have to take up a few extra hours as a student counselor, and she definitely didn't think she'd be so enamored with the newest Professor who seems to be filling the void in her life.
1. Chapter 1

Pairing: Tamsin/Lauren, Copdoc, minor doccubus moments,

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I'm a puppeteer and sadly do not own Lost Girl.

* * *

Lauren Lewis held her shoulders high and her expression neutral as she sat in an uncomfortable chair in a sterile room while having an equally uncomfortable meeting with several of her colleagues.

She looked to her right at Dr. Jensen, an old, unkempt man twenty years her senior. She felt sorry for the man and gave him a sympathetic smile when he locked his panicked eyes onto her calm ones. He didn't hide his emotions like Lauren had learned to do.

The poor man had coffee stains in his shirt, but Lauren can completely understand why. He had a family and a mortgage to take care of. Really, the biggest contributor for their (would have been) continued success was pulling out in a cruel game of political chess with no remorse. It was more common that she wanted to admit, so she took it in stride.

"Doctor Lewis, would you please go over your inventory for the west wing labs?" A voice, one she remembered she was supposed to be listening to, pulled her from her thoughts.

She inhaled an elongated breath to collect her thoughts and focused on her papers stacked neatly in front of her. Her voice travelled with intent, bold and confident despite the current circumstance.

"Our current stock is actually quite impressive. Since no expense was spared at startup, we have enough machines to more than break even."

"You are sure of this?"

Lauren gave a curt nod and continued, "More than, even. In fact, we'll be able to pay back all debts and distribute a decent severance pay to all twenty eight employees. Now, lets start with the 3D printers in the stem cell division, shall we?"

The meeting carried on through her entire workday. Chopping up the company assets to sell caused Lauren to suffer one of the worst cases of boredom she'd experienced in years to which she masked in careful subtlety.

Added to the clusterfuck was the fact that everyone there will be out of a job in a week.

And those beautiful machines she'd admired were going to be out of her hands? She was going to miss those the most.

The drive home was done in robotic movements and an autopilot, hazy state of mind. Once she crossed the front door of her apartment and lazily discarded her coat and keys, she shed the most of the tension through a shaky sigh and plopped herself down into her office chair. She felt her resolve to remain impassive fall away, and she let her muscles release its stiffness.

Tilting her head back, she inspected her home, elegant and blanketed in warm colors with a sad smile. She would miss this place from her impressive herbal collection in her massive garden to the beautiful hardwood floors.

It wasn't that she couldn't afford to float. That would be laughable for any member of the Lewis family. No, it was the fact that she made a promise to her mother to watch her little sister. Her sister, though only half her blood, was near and dear to her heart. Despite a small fall out, she missed her insufferable bratty sibling.

Aside from that, Lauren hated to be idle. She had a bucket list she could now pursue.

She looked at the letter atop the desk and took it into her hands to read for the dozenth time, a 'thank you for your service' letter with an official seal at the top. It seemed too tacky, but it was still nice to have some final recognition for her work, even if on a tacky letter.

The letter ended with a, "We thank you for your valuable contribution in the Ashton Fareigh Institute, and we wish you good luck on your next professional endeavor."

Lauren let go of the paper, let it drop onto the desk in her home office, and pinched the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger in a muted defeat.

When she accepted this one-in-a-lifetime job at the institute years before, she had the knowledge that it had private donors in high places, securing her position until retirement should she want to stay that long. Over the last year, the funds came through at a slowly declining rate. But, it was the one major contributor backing out to run the place to the ground, leaving her jobless.

But, Lauren was cushioned with wealth, always had been. She was financially stable and smart with how she spends (and not spends) her money that she projected she can float in an idle state for at least ten more years.

And if that failed, it will only take a phone call to her grandmother for instant access to the family estate.

She closed her eyes and shook that thought out of her head. There would be a rainy day in hell before she went crawling to Grandma Lewis with her tail between her legs.

That drum in her head was pounding a relentless beat, so she reached in her drawer and pulled out a bottle of scotch, poured it into a nearby glass, and sat in quiet respite while sipping from her glass.

Feeling the long day take drain away, she picked up her cell phone and dialed the only number she can think of, the number to the only person she wanted to talk to at that moment.

_"Yo, Doctor Freeze, this better be good because this lil mama has been bidding on the entire Jungle Jeeves set on blu-ray."_

"What? Kenzi, that can't be how you're spending your first paycheck," Lauren admonished.

_"No, of course not. Give me some cred. That's why I'm bidding on ebay. Cheap stuff. Also, I totes got like a ton left over. Plus, I can always call you if I run out."_

Lauren let out an aggravated breath.

"Kenzi," she began.

_"Two minutes left! I gotta go. Call you in three minutes!"_

The phone call ended abruptly and Lauren just sat there, blinking at her phone for ten whole seconds before hitting redial on her phone.

_"Oh my god, I need both hands, Lo. I need this!"_

Lauren shook her head at Kenzi despite knowing she couldn't see her.

"You don't need Jungle Jeeves, Mackenzie!" Lauren stated firmly and heard a gasp through the phone.

_"Be still my heart. You__** wound**__ me! Take that back or I'm telling Mom you were the one who destroyed her wedding dress at the country club."_

Lauren rolled her eyes. "You can't be serious right now."

"_As an IRS agent. I'm so telling her in my next visit."_

"You weren't even at the last Christmas dinner!"

_"Yeah, well neither were you!"_

Lauren smiled just a little, her eyes soft with a hint of sadness as she continued, "I made sure grandma Lewis cleaned her grave and set new flowers."

_"Stargazers, only, right? That's the only kind she liked."_

"Of course," Lauren assured.

_"Well, now I don't have the promise of Jungle Jeeves anymore. Some douche named skaterbob beat me out,"_ Kenzi sighed dramatically. _"So, what's up?"_

"Remember that job I had?"

_"Oh, Tits.. that's not a promising way to start news." _Then, after a beat,"_Um..Where you gonna work now?__** Are**__ you gonna work? 'Cause, you totes need like a bagillion years off..and a tan. Go all Bahama, mama!"_

She got her teaching certification on top of the mountain of accomplishments she acquired at her time at Yale.

So, it was no surprise that school administration at her new job doted on her, excited to have an up-and-coming scientist in the genetic circle. (She may be semi well-known, at least to those in the medical field, for several of her experiments at Ashton Fareigh). UC Berkeley offered a job in no time, along with many other universities and labs, but none of them had Kenzi. So, UC Berkeley wasn't an Ivy League or really that esteemed, but it offered more time with her half-sister, and that had been lacking the past several years.

Now she stood in front of the UC Berkeley campus a month after that dreadful meeting, amidst a sea of college freshmen wandering aimlessly through the campus grounds. The slightly more experienced students walked with their heads downward in an attempt to memorize their fruitful schedules.

Lauren remembered being that eager and hungry. Even now, she hungered, and she figured that this job is another learning experience in the art of teaching… sort of like tallying a bullet off a career bucket list…until she finds a decent research institute that will give her what she needs: Stability, top-of-the-line technology, and respect. Again._ If _she'll ever find that again.

She looked to her left where Kenzi stood looking ridiculous in her leather platform boots, a corset, and missed matched accessories that she somehow made work.

And that disturbing backpack she loved.

"Why do you insist on carrying your things in that eyesore of a bag?"

"Hey! You did _not _insult _the bag_!"

"It has a weird alien thing with stitches on the side of his head, and it's eating a taco." Really, what was the appeal in that?

"Tell me again why you want to play chaperone? I can't _learn _knowing my big sister is keep an eye out for me. God knows my freaking biology teacher has a massive hard-on for you. You should have seen her crazy, stalker eyes," Kenzi rambled and shivered at the last part of her rant.

Amused, Lauren raised an eyebrow at her.

"Professor Malcolm has an erection? As a sixty-three year old woman, Kenzi? Really?"

"When she found out - found out, Lauren- she asked me all coy-like, 'You're Doctor Lewis' little sister, right?' I'm pretty sure she googled you. God, that sounds so wrong in my mouth. We don't even have the same last names, for crying out loud!"

Lauren laughed; Kenzi always found a way to lighten the mood. She had wanted to get more acquainted with the area of Berkeley in general, but she found herself tagging along with Kenzi to campus, to which the girl whined and muttered about being embarrassed and loosing her street cred.

"Alright, Lo. I got class in five minutes. Art doesn't paint itself! Don't get lost!"

"Kenzi, wait! Do you have work tonight?"

"Oh yeah, but don't wait up. We have a full load tonight."

She watched the girl strut toward her class and furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. Kenzi never did disclose exactly what she did for her new job. When Kenzi called to assure her she got a job, all she said to Lauren was, "Oh yeah, it's just my type of thing. Don't worry; it's legit. I get free food and the occasional wine. "

She knew better than to ask questions; it'd only leave her more confused in the end. That, or furious.

She did, however make a mental note to ask about it later. At the moment, she had a laboratory to inspect.

* * *

"You have got to be fucking me, Evony," Tamsin said, her eyebrows set high on her forehead.

"Nice choice in words."

"You know what I meant. This isn't funny."

"Am I known for my humor?" The Dean of UC Berkeley sat, poised and calm, behind a mahogany desk. Shiny and in clear sight at the front of her desk was a metal name sign.

Doctor Evony Marquis. She was every bit beautiful as she was a pain in Tamsin's ass.

Knowing the meeting was going to be short (Tamsin had class in twenty minutes anyway), she didn't take the offered seat.

"Actually, y-," Tamsin began, because, Evony can be downright hilarious. It's just that she never meant to be.

"Not the point," Evony replied. She flicked a hand dismissively. " Mr. Anders sadly passed away two nights ago."

Tamsin bristled and placed a hand on each side of her own head and massaged her temples to avoid what could be a full-blown migraine.

"Shit. I'm sorry to hear that," Tamsin said. She shifted from one foot to the other. "But, I have a full work load already with those little shits. Can't you get one of the newbies to do it?" Her voice bordered on the edge of desperation, and she hated that Evony saw her vulnerabilities come out to play far too many times.

"Not anyone that I can pay at half salary. You'd get half salary in addition to what you're already being paid," Evony replied. She leaned forward and placed her hands on her desk, folding her hands.

Tamsin sighed and expelled a short, bitter chuckle. "So, you really don't want to pay two salaries and you're suckering me into it."

"Take it or leave it, honey."

"No. I don't need the money, and, like I said: I have too much of a workload already."

"Okay. I didn't want to have to pull out the big guns. But if you do this, you'll be up for that tenured spot you've been after for the past three years."

Tamsin closed her eyes and inhaled a shaky breath as she shook her head. "That is not cool. I- god- I can't stand the snotty attitude from the lower level classes. They've got no appreciation for the studies yet and expect their hands to be held while they come to class with hangovers."

"We all have to make sacrifices, Doctor Warwick." Evony said, her voice low and filled with a bit more force and professionalism than displayed since the beginning of the meeting. If her hard tone wasn't any indication of how serious she was, the title and last name would have been the key tell. "And, might I add that you were one of those students with hangovers."

Finally sensing the seriousness of the situation and the growing temptation at the prize offered, Tamsin took the seat that had been neglected.

"You're not making this easy."

Evony pursed her lips and leaned back in her chair. "Okay. Here's the deal. You'll only get two extra classes. But, you have to fill in the extra counseling spot for three hours a week." She took in a breath and added an eye-roll and added, "Fine. You get double Salary."

"Oh for fuck's sake," Tamsin hissed and felt her resolve loosen.

"I knew you'd come around."

"You owe me a round at the bar after my last class lets out."

"Never change, Tammy," Evony teased, and just like that, the tension in the air left.

"Oh fuck off with that Tammy shit. I didn't let you call me that when we were dating. Why would I allow that now?"

"Because, sweetheart, I'm giving you your tenure on a silver, shiny platter with my ass on the line."

"Whatever. I'm going to buy Mrs. Anders some flowers or something."

"Oh, by the way, you're going to be giving the newest chemistry department head a tour tomorrow."

Tamsin rose to her feet, turned around, and as she walked, muttered a very audible, "I hate you."

"So you say every week."


	2. Chapter 2

After the last class of the day let out, Tamsin figured she'd get the condolences out of the way before she headed to the bar she frequented. That sounded rude and impersonal, but she genuinely was sad for this woman. Mr. Anders was a smart man, and from what she heard from her colleagues, he was a great husband and father.

Mrs. Anders was eerily calm the moment Tamsin entered her house. The house was a cute little bungalow in the Berkeley Hills neighborhood, the rich type where you'd want to raise your children but still get the "Berkeley" feel.

Tamsin gave her final thoughts about Mr. Anders, all positive, of course (she seemingly was a bitch a lot of the time, but she wasn't overtly cruel). She was just praising his work in highly acclaimed science studies when Mrs. Anders shot up from her seat and cheerily declared that it was tea time and would she like a cookie, too? She was clearly in the denial stage; only two days had passed, of course she was.

Tamsin never did well with emotional people. Or emotions in general. Though genuine gestures were not a frequent display for Tamsin, that was not to say she didn't feel; quite the contrary. She would say it made her feel _too_ much. And that was something that she never wanted to deal with.

So, when Mrs. Anders' sons arrived with red-rimmed, sad and disbelieving eyes, she was relieved both at the opportunity to leave her uncomfortable stay and relieved of the new family that would fill the spaces between Mrs. Anders' grief and the following procedures to clear the dead. Upon departure, the awkward silences and "I'm sorry's" felt a little too forced and a little too impersonal when it fell out of her mouth, so ineloquent and foreign.

That was why the cold, refreshing glass of lager in her hand was the perfect end to her day. And, yeah, she had a PhD in psychology and was a well-respected professor, so she knew the ins and outs of the irony of it all.

She eyed the clock on the wall, noting that her friend was running late per usual and chugged the remnants of the beer in her hand before gesturing lazily to Trick, the bartender. Why he had a name like 'Trick' was beyond her, but it reminded her vaguely of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Except _that_ Trick was taller and, well, darker. With fangs.

She thought about this ridiculous comparison and snorted into her glass after her last swallow.

"'Another one?" he asked.

"I called you over here didn't I?" she smirked, her thoughts still swirling with amusement at just what this Trick would be if they were living in a supernatural world.

Maybe a gnome? House elf? Nah, he'd be a Keebler elf. All about cookies 'n shit.

She snickered at her own musings, and given that Trick was now sending her a pointed look that wasn't quite a glare, she guessed she was annoying the man who was in charge of her beer. So she had to play nice. She coughed her laugh away and mentally rolled her eyes.

"Sorry..just had somethin' funny pop up in my head."

Because Dyson was still aggravatingly late, she ordered another drink, but this time she chose something stronger- the type of drink that would make anyone else's eyes water.

Her mind wouldn't stop spewing unwelcome thoughts. She pulled her elbows up and perched them on the desk and placed her head in her upturned palms, cradling her head in a weak attempt to ward off the images and thoughts that mocked her. The strings that tethered her conscience to her heart wavered between sorrow and self-hatred.

Minutes later, she knew Dyson had taken his place beside her. It wasn't the squeak of the tool as he placed his weight on it, nor was it the sound of Trick placing a drink right next to hers. It was that damn smell of leather that wafted from those fucking leather vests.

Finally, he arrived.

"Jeez, Tamsin. You look like a wreck. Who died?" Dyson asked playfully.

Without warning or any pretense, Tamsin punched a single fist into this shoulder.

"What the-" he barked as he rubbed his shoulder, "that really hurt!"

"You insensitive asshole!" she barked and hit him again in the same spot before she downed the remainder of her drink.

"What are you talking about? I only just got here!" Dyson replied. Then, he took in her furrowed brows and the tightened hold she had on her drink like it was some dire lifeline.

Realization crept up to him abruptly like a slap in the face.

"Tamsin, I'm sorry. I didn't realize," he offered and paused a moment, not entirely sure what to say or how to approach her. She had a tendency to get violent when upset and confronted. She resembled a ticking time-bomb.

He settled for a soft and sincere, "Who?"

She looked at him and his concerned gaze and replied with, "No one I'm close to, really. I..It just made me think of.." She trailed off and opted to use a flick of her wrist in a telling gesture; it was something he knew in the past that the duo never talked about. Not really. And, definitely not tonight.

"Let me get you another drink," he finally said.

She looked into his eyes again and gave a small smile, thankful that he didn't pry further. That was the exact reason she called him instead of the one of her dalliances. They'd want to cuddle, and she had never really like that in the first place with them, but sometimes the masochistic part of her couldn't push away the opportunity to pretend.

She'd just lie there after the mediocre sex and hold them to pretend it was her.

It didn't help in the long run; she always ended up hating herself the day after...after opening that wound.

* * *

Lauren found that the lab was impressive for a state university. She spent most of the day asking questions and taking mental notes. The staff was friendly enough, a few of the men a little too friendly.

She found herself at her (Kenzi's) temporary home around eight in the evening. It was only when her stomach growled did she realize she hadn't eaten all day. She winced when she though of what could possibly be rotting in Kenzi's refrigerator. There was no semblance of cleanliness and organization in the place. The girl lived like a full out bachelor. Hell, she could have represented a whole frat house just fine in her small, little body. Clearly, Kenzi took after her father and not the shared mother they had.

Against her better judgment, she searched kitchen, and as a result, she frowned, gasped, and flopped herself down on the living room futon.

_"What can I say? I live simply. All I need is a TV, some vodka, and fruit loops,"_ Kenzi had said once Lauren arrived. That was only yesterday. Normally, she would get acquainted with the area, find her own place, and be scarily prepared for whatever she set up to do. This time, however, she had to remain at her old place until the business was thoroughly taken care of until its very end. Her place was easily sold with a hefty profit. That was why she found herself making a bed on Kenzi's very uncomfortable futon before searching for a snack.

In the kitchen, she found oreo's, fruit roll ups, pizza leftovers from various establishments, vodka, pancake batter, and a half-gallon of milk.

How the hell did her sister stay alive? She really needed to give her a serious talk about the dangers of getting scurvy.

Thankfully, there had been a pile of delivery menus, and that was enough to feed her for the night.

Lauren had been in a light state of sleep when Kenzi stumbled ungracefully into the place in the middle of the night.

There was a thump and a bang, followed by a "how did that get there?"

Lauren jolted up with a start and gave a small noise of discontent. She had just barely gotten to sleep. She heard shuffling and was going to try to fall back into a peaceful state, but then a small air current of cigarettes and booze wafted over to her nose.

"Kenzi, why do you smell like both an astray and whiskey?"

"And, you're s'posed to be the smart one," Kenzi slurred. "Use your prowers of de..deduction, nerdy pants."

"Prowers?" Lauren echoed.

Somewhere in-between a muttered "m'going to bed" and yet another loud bang, Lauren spotted the figure of another woman slowly approach. The soft, yet unwelcome light trickled in from the street light outside, allowing only the silhouette of the stranger to be seen. Annoyed, Lauren closed her eyes shut, shielding her from the world, most specifically, this situation of a drunk little sister and a complete stranger.

"Uh, hey," the figure said, and Lauren could hear the uncertainty the woman (she was thankful at least that Kenzi hadn't brought home some boy) carried.

"Thank you for bringing Mackenzie home safely. Though, I would rather her not be in such a vulnerable state this time of night. I can take it from here…" Lauren let the end of the sentence drift off so that this stranger took that as a hint to reveal her name.

"Oh," the stranger laughed, surprising Lauren at how pleasing it was to hear. This lightened the weight of Lauren's annoyance, but not by much.

The stranger continued, "I'm Bo. Look, I'm sorry for bringing her like this. After the seminar, I wanted to cheer her up after she failed her exam."

"What?" Lauren asked, surprised. Furious. She'd have to deal with that in the morning. Also, what seminar? She'd ask about that, too.

"Oh, shit. I probably wasn't supposed to say that, huh? You must be the sister, Lauren."

Lauren only nodded then realized it was still dark and the woman probably wouldn't see her. Rolling her eyes at herself, she just said, "Yes. That's me. I'm the sister."

What was that? Lauren chastised herself for sounding so lame.

Bo laughed again, and yes, Lauren concluded it was definitely a pretty sound.

"Well, I see Kenz is in good hands. See you around, Lauren The Sister." Bo teased.

And then she was gone.

As a habit, Lauren padded her feet lightly toward Kenzi's room to check on her safety. When they were children, it was because she was worried Kenzi was having a nightmare or maybe had fallen off the bed.

This night, it wasn't too different. With that loud bang not to long after she stumbled into the room, Lauren was worried that she'd find her sister on the floor as a result of banging her head.

She found Kenzi safe and sound on her bed still in her clothes. With a loving eyeroll, Lauren quietly walked to the end of her sister's bed to remove her shoes. It was complicated and not of the normal shoelace procedure. It was a strange pattern, but upon a quick ten second overlook of its structure, she removed the shoes without fail.

The rest of Kenzi's clothes would have to stay put.

So, Lauren placed a kiss on Kenzi's forehead and said goodnight.

* * *

Tamsin awoke with the taste of vague, foul remnants of cheap liquor in her mouth, a pounding headache, and the overwhelming sensation of unwavering nausea. She was a pro at this hangover shit; this happened more times than she could count and more times than she would willingly admit. So, she went about her routine of popping an Ativan and hopping into the hottest shower she could stand.

She walked out of her house and shoved herself and her briefcase into the ugliest truck she'd ever seen, probably will ever see. Despite that and the gas it liked to eat at an alarming rate, she wouldn't want any other vehicle. A few of her colleagues met the truck with firm derision and voiced a statement along the lines of, "You seriously own this old piece of a metal?"

And she'd reply with something along the lines of "Oh, it's cute you act like you think I give a shit about what you think."

The engine sputtered when she finally parked in the university lot. She smiled, not about the coughing fit her truck was apparently having (and had been having for the past few years), but at the fact that in the very near future she'd have her very own parking spot at the front row.

Her first class of the day was the "lower level" classes Evony had assigned the day before, which, in actuality, were the upper level courses that weren't of the graduate variety where Tamsin lay comfortably.

She was met with an empty classroom- not a surprise since she had arrived early, wanting precisely that: silence while she dealt with the remainder of her hangover.

With a sloppy, barely legibly script, she scribbled her title and name on the large whiteboard in the back. A scrawny boy, who's name she found out (from him when he gave his name without invitation) was Atherton, fiddled about with cords and an iMac that sat at the front of the room on its own desk adjacent to hers.

"Keep it down, will you?" she asked, settling her papers in the order she wanted to direct the lecture.

"Sorry, Miss."

"Doctor," she corrected. She worked damn hard to earn that degree; people, especially students, better damn well use it. "Doctor Warwick."

The boy left after ten minutes of resupplying the contents of the room and verified the settings of the electronics, and that was when the students started trickling in.

She swore half of them looked to be around fifteen. Christ, she was getting old. She sucked in a breath before reaching for her lecture notes.

This class, like most undergrad classes, was huge. This certain room held three hundred and twenty seats, and they were filling up. Fast. She knew half of them would be texting throughout the whole lesson while the rest interacted with whatever social media they liked on their laptops. Only a few dozen would actually pay enough attention to her. It was lecture day, not discussion day.

She noticed a few eager faces with their pens poised, a few had their laptops at the ready as they looked at her with intense focus.

As normal, a few spots remained unoccupied at the front row; no one wanted to be that close and that noticeable.

"Good morning. As you can see, I am not your normal professor. It pains me to tell you that Mr. Anders passed away a few days ago. I'm to take his spot. I assure you I am well qualified to teach this class," Tamsin said. She heard a few gasps and a few, "oh shit" whispers.

"I'm Doctor Warwick, and you will address me as such. I normally teach graduate level classes, so please bare with me if I get too intense. I don't know what Mr. Anders gave you for an assignment last, so I'm gonna say we're taking a fresh start. Whatever you needed to turn in is null. There will be a five thousand word essay due each week, a quiz every other week, and of course the midterm and final." There were handfuls of groans. She expected this; Mr. Anders may have been a great man, but he was known to have gone easy on his students.

"In addition, I require mandatory group study sessions. I will place twelve group signup sheets by the door. Ten people per group. You will conduct a study on whatever subject you see fit- as long as it has to do with the subject of this class. This is a semester long study, so it will be do at the end of the semester in a presentation. How you do that presentation is up to your creativity.

"Oh. And, you will be required to show your ID when exams show up. I know of the scams that are played. I used to run one of those in my time," she smirked. The students gave one another looks of horror. They didn't know if they should be scared or impressed.

Ten minutes into her lecture, she took pride that more people than expected were taking notes. She probably scared the wits out of half of them; that's the way she preferred it.

Suddenly, a very thin, very interesting looking girl stumbled into class. Quite literally, she stumbled, and her sunglasses flew off of her face and slid across the floor a few feet.

"Oh, for Jeeve's sake," the girl muttered.

Tamsin stopped her talking all together and crossed her arms while the girl took one of the only remaining seats available in the front row.

"Gee, I'm sorry we started without you, Miss..."

"Malikov. Mackenzie Malikov. Look, I'm so sorry I'm late," Kenzi sputtered as she eyed the rest of the students. "It's just that-"

"Your alarm didn't go off?" Tamsin questioned as she tilted her head. She continued with the same mocking tone in her voice, "Your bus didn't come? You got lost? What was it?"

Tamsin gestured for the girl to get out of her seat and approach her.

Kenzie swallowed, got out of the seat and walked a few feet short of Tamsin and raised her eyebrows in surprised at the gall of this woman. "Um, no," Kenzie said. "I was going to say that I'm hungover and puked about three times on the way here."

The class broke out into laughter and snickers, to which Kenzie ignored.

Tamsin quirked an eyebrow, taken by complete surprise at the bluntness the girl responded with.

Maybe it was because Tamsin herself was still feeling the effects of last night's indulgence that she reached into her bag, took a bottle of ibuprofen and tossed it toward her newest arrival.

Kenzie caught it, easily, took a few pills and dry swallowed them. She got closer and handed the bottle to the professor before she opened her mouth to say, "Dude, you're totally not Mr. Anders. Unless, oh my god, did you get a sex change?"

What? Tamsin blinked.

"Sorry, that assumption is quite out of gamut here. I'm actually your new professor. Mr. Anders has passed away," Tamsin responded.

Kenzie's eyes widened and a few tears gathered. "But, just last week he was telling us about how he was going to adopt a puppy!"

She started sobbing.

Then Tamsin guessed at what could be happening. So, she leaned toward the girl so that only she'd hear.

"Mackenzie, are you possibly still drunk?"

Kenzie sniffled and nodded. "Yeah, maybe."

"Go home and meet me at the counselors lounge tomorrow."


	3. Chapter 3

Kenzi sat on the grass field beside one of the campus libraries. Next to her was her recently dubbed best friend. Both hid behind large sunglasses and tried to will something, anything interesting, to happen. But, it was a weekday, midday even, and most of the activities would involve the outdoors for any action- well, more outdoors than sitting in a school park. The half-empty pizza box in front of them was Kenzi's best effort to stave off a would-be hangover since the morning's classroom adventure.

"Alright, so what I'm getting is that your Psych professor croaked, and you now have a new, evil blonde demon in his place?"

"Totes. I've had a day from the depths of hell. Also, my burberry sunglasses took a dive in class. Now it's scratched and covered in nerd germs."

"I hardly think that qualifies for a depths-of-hell label. Stop saying nerd like that; it's not a bad thing."

Kenzi took a big bite from her slice and spoke through a mouth full of food, "Thas m'ere you're mrong."

"Yeah, that's attractive," her friend replied dryly.

Kenzi swallowed and said, "I need food, Nadia. My body needs like five thousand calories a day to sustain all this awesome."

Nadia rolled her eyes and motioned for her to continue while taking her own bite of pizza.

"What I'm saying is I woke up late, and -"

"Which is not unusual with you," Nadia interrupted.

"Not the point! I got my dates wrong and totally barged into my Comparative Lit class only to find out that I had Gen Psych! I got yelled at! _Again!_"

Nadia lifted her hands in surrender. "Okay, okay. Guess I'm buying the drinks tonight. But, are you sure since you said your sister Lauren-"

"_Also_ evil. Rain check on the booze, though. I got another seminar tonight." Kenzi interrupted.

"Right, evil." Nadia drawled out.

"Also, 'anal' would suit her description."

"Kenzi! That's so not nice."

"Not nice? I mean I love her like a sister-."

Nadia snorted. "That's because she is your sister."

" - but she's so _frigid_ and _calculated_ . And, you don't get to say what's nice and not nice. Like, dude, do you not remember gluing Tommy Maclanahan's fake ID to his ceiling last week? You just can't take away a dude's booze card."

"What?" Nadia asked and shrugged as she put the pizza toward her mouth again. "He smells funny, and he was staring my ass at the last mixer."

Kenzi smiled and wiggled her eyebrows, "Honey, that's 'cuz you've got junk in the trunk! Woop!"

"Stop that creepy eyebrow thing, or I'll put you _in_ a trunk."

"Meh," Kenzi sighed, "I always found a way out those the three times it happened."

"What? …I.. You know what? I don't think I wanna know."

"That's right. Russian Mafia story, baby!"

A lull in conversation allowed them to finish their slices of pizza while a few students walked passed and looked at the pizza box longingly.

"Jeez, get your own food, guys!" Kenzi mumbled into her pizza. She shook her head cautiously and smiled. No more headache. "I think I'm sober enough, now."

Nadia titled her head and poked Kenzi in the stomach. Her hand was batted away, and she smirked.

"Yeah, you are. How the hell do you even drink that much without dying?"

"My genetic superpower."

"What a shitty superpower. Anyway," Nadia began as she slid her sunglasses to perch atop her head. She leaned forward, and Kenzi saw a familiar glint in Nadia's eyes. This would only lead to trouble. It always led to trouble.

"So, Kenz..."

"What are you thinking?" Kenz asked cautiously.

"Tell me more about your sister. Is she dating anyone?" Nadia tried to say with nonchalance but failed.

"_Ew!_ Don't even, Nadia. She's ancient and _my sister_!"

"From those pictures you have in your apartment, she's not that old. Besides, maybe I like older women."

"You just diddled that redheaded junior last week."

"Ashley," Nadia replied through a sigh. "And, So? I just haven't found the right one to wife yet. Soooo… she single?"

"I'm pretty sure she's already married to her Bunsen burner."

"She and I could _make love_ by the light of a Bunsen burner," Nadia purred.

"Again, Ew! I'd rather eat foot soup than having ever heard you say that," Kenzi shrieked before pretending to gag.

"Hey, don't knock it until you try it."

"Dude! Try my _sister?!_ That's some fucked up inbreeding activity I do not take part of! _What the hell_ is wrong with you?"

"Not _that,_" Nadia stressed. "I mean the girl-on-girl aspect."

"Nah. My own vagina scares me sometimes. I mean, how the hell is a baby going to come out of there?"

* * *

Tamsin's class ended without any more interruptions and awkward incidences. The students trickled out, some more eager than others, and it was then that Tamsin sat at her desk and leaned her head back in cloud of annoyance. She could only sigh and at least appreciate that her own hangover had decreased once the aspirin took hold. The slightest wave of nausea, however, overpowered the momentary relief.

"Oh hell," She muttered. She gathered her belongings before stomping her way toward the faculty break room.

"Thank God!" She said as she eyed a bag of bagels atop a counter. She ate a bagel, not caring to find cream cheese or anything that would add some sort of flavor to such bland bread. She didn't care; her stomach needed carbs. To hell with whoever own this bag of bagels.

Thinking back to the odd start of her class, she couldn't help but be amused at the girl who was irritatingly late. Normally, she wouldn't care about student tardiness as long as they didn'tmake such a display of it.

And, fucking hell, did that girl make a loud and distracting display, and that had only make her head pound just a little bit harsher.

"Damn students are starting to look younger and younger," she muttered. She took comfort knowing that this was the day she had a three-hour break before her next class, which, thankfully, wasn't an undergraduate course. Her notes were completed, and she knew most of the students were accustomed to her teaching style that she didn't have to re-instate her authority and no-bullshit policy.

Her mind ping ponged from the loss of a fellow faculty member to her own personal loss, the loss that influenced her to sooth herself with alcohol.

_And, oh shit,_ she thought. I_'ve got to give that damn tour to that newbie._

* * *

A large but quaint café across the campus was the meeting place. Lauren checked her cell phone, relooking over the vague address (if you can even call it an address) and the short messages from an unknown number.

_From Unknown: Hey. Got your number from Dr. Marquise. Meet me at Musical Offering &amp; Café in thirty. Just on Bancroft, near Telegraph. Facing campus._

Lauren balked at the message at first. She blinked at the audacious message; Dr. Warwick just assumed she'd be within thirty minutes of campus.

Well, she hoped it was Dr. Warwick. The thought of some random person sending her an ominous message was amusing if not slightly worrying.

To Unknown: This is Dr. Warwick, I presume.

_From Unknown: Who else? Are you expecting more than one tour, there, Doc?_

To Unknown: It's Dr. Lewis.

So, there Lauren was, sitting in a corner table with an ice coffee drink. She scanned the room to look for a lone person who would in turn be searching for her. Truth be told, Lauren didn't know of her guide's gender, assuming they had a gender they identified with.

"Why didn't I ask for a description?" She whispered to herself. She looked at her phone for the time and expelled an aggravated breath against her drink before taking a sip. It was twenty minutes past the given meeting time. When she first arrived (10 minutes early), she took it upon herself to pull out her syllabus for one of her classes to make last minute notes in the margins. After a few satisfying sips of her drink, she focused again on the papers in front of her, pen in one hand and her drink in the other.

"White blouse, a mountain of papers, and a briefcase that looks to be worth more than my truck," Tamsin noted out loud just besides Lauren's seating. She sat down in the empty chair directly across from Lauren. "You must be the Doc."

Lauren jolted just a little bit, spilling a bit of her drink on her neatly pressed white blouse. She mashed her lips together and inhaled sharply through her nose, counted to five, and looked at the women who just caused her to ruin her favorite blouse.

Tamsin, on the other hand, looked apologetic. She got up and walked swiftly to the nearest table that had napkins. When she returned, she saw that Lauren had moved her concern to the papers before her, drenched in coffee, ink smeared and nearly illegible.

_Well, fuck me,_ Tamsin thought.

"Shit," Tamsin hissed as she moved forward. "Gotta say, I certainly didn't expect our tour to start with..well, this."

"Believe me, neither did I," Lauren said dryly. "And, it's still Dr. Lewis."

"To be fair, wearing white only attracts bad things. Like coffee all over it. No one wears white blouses without backup. Unless you're participating in a wet teacher contest."

"_Excuse me?!_"

"T-shirt!" _Goddamnit_. "I meant wet t-shirt contest."

"That's still not… what?" Lauren asked, her eyebrows pulled together. "I don't think that's appropriate discussion material amongst colleagues, don't you think?"

"Oh, shit. Don't tell me you're the uptight type." Tamsin rolled her eyes. Secretly, she was amused at the fluttered Dr. Lewis.

Lauren just blinked and opened her mouth to say something, anything, but she knew what she really wanted to say would be extremely unprofessional. She did not want her first impression to be painted in a negative light despite that Dr. Warwick had done just that.

"Pardon me, Dr. Warwick, I do believe this tour is not necessary. I'm sure it was just formality anyway. I can get acquainted with the layout myself."

* * *

"I fucked up."

Evony didn't even look up at hearing Tamsin speak. She had just barged into the office and stood at the desk in front of her.

"Don't tell me you sent home more than ten people home crying today," Evony said in a calm voice while she signed documents.

"That's a possibility, too."

"Lay it on me, Tamsin. You know I hate to beat around the bush."

Tamsin smirked and raised an eyebrow.

"I don't even have to look at you to know you're doing that infuriating smirk.

"Some call it a panty-dropper, but whatever works."

At this, Evony placed her pen down and leaned back in her chair. Whatever it was, she needed to hear it as fast as possible so she could put out potential fires.

"Look, it's not too bad. I guess I insulted the new Doc. Not sure why, it's not like I-"

"What?" Evony asked, her own eyebrow quirking up.

"Don't look at me that way. Not my fault she's got this stick up her ass. What is it with the people in the nerd brigade?"

"Just because they don't mesh with your crass and smug nature, Tamsin, it doesn't mean you can freely antagonize the new head of Molecular and Cell Biology department."

"Right, the Chem Department."

Evony just sighed. "I'm sure they find the Psychology department with the same adoration. I'll deal with this. You just… Go. Just go somewhere far, far away."


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Sorry! It's been a while. I'm here now. All mistakes are mine. Downside to writing from an iPad._

..

Just minutes after Tamsin caused her to spill hot coffee over her beloved shirt and precious classroom notation, Lauren huffed as her heels clacked against the sidewalk across the Berkeley campus. Her hands, sure and quick, smoothed the crinkles and wrinkles around the damp spots of brown on white. She plastered her practiced mask of indifference, ignoring inquisitive looks from scurrying people that trafficked along the infamous Telegraph Avenue.

It was her first day in her professional capacity at UC Berkeley, and already she was rattled, irritated that the 'tour guide' Dr. Warwick seemed only mildly apologetic and no doubt amused. She could only hope that she'd never cross her path again, professional or no.

Her day had been so meticulously scheduled only to have it stirred into a small, yet still annoying, chaos of catch-up and re-adjustments. So, after she entered Kenzi's residence and dug through her luggage to find a suitable replacement for her attire, she found herself reveling in the hush of her surroundings; only the slight hum of the ceiling fan was audible. A sense of peace, though mixed with the stale air of the apartment, entered and calmed her, and she closed her eyes to soak in this precious moment of nothingness for a good few minutes before committing to the rest of her day: paperwork.

Mountains and mountains of paper work and dozens of class syllabi to looked over and improve were at her approval and scrutination. She was the lead of the labs in the Molecular and Cell Biology department, and that involved in overlooking the department and making budgets and finding new equipment for the advanced medical and biochemical coursework.

And Lauren enjoyed this.

She enjoyed inputting her own knowledge that only her experience and brilliance could bring. Despite her happiness she found in what UC Berkeley had to offer, she longed to continue her own research the opportunities she had with Ashton Fareigh. After feeling the slow of her heartbeat and the racing thoughts, she pulled up the desired shirt, gathered the necessary belongings and headed toward her new office.

xx

Evony was certainly happy at Lauren's arrival in the university. Dr. Lauren Lewis created a buzz in the scientific community, and now she had her at her school.

"Suck it, Stanford," was one of the first things she mused after Lauren's confirmation.

So, that is how Dr. Evony Marquis found her newest addition to the department, her new educational chest piece of her territory- Smiling at her computer, typing with enthusiasm beside color-coded notes.

"I take it you like your office, Dr. Lewis?"

Lauren paused her typing and focused her eyes at the visitor. She smiled a practiced smile and rose to stand next to Evony, offering her hand in greeting.

"Hello, again Dr. Marquis."

Evony shook her hand and casually replied, " Please, call me Evony. No formality needed. Especially with you being highly regarded. Haven't you heard? Stanford is steaming at the ears that you're here," Evony said, her voice overlaid with dark enthusiasm much like how a lioness would show after killing a prey.

Lauren let out small laugh; yes Stanford was one of the other options, and they had offered a higher salary. It wasn't even that far from Berkeley, maybe an hour and a half during traffic.

"Ah, well. I have a feeling Berkeley is just where I need to be," Lauren offered in response with honest conviction.

Evony raised an eyebrow. "Oh, sweetie. I know you're most likely here because your sister. Mackenzie, right?"

"So you know I have a sister here," Lauren stated. Not that she was surprised, really. She was the Dean after all.

"Of course, dear. I know a lot of things. Plus, she named you her next of kin on the university insurance plan." Evony made a slow walk about the office, taking in the minor adjustments Lauren had managed to make in such a short about of time. "Well. It all works out for us to have such an esteemed scientist."

Lauren smiled, closed and controlled, and replied, "Right. Of course."

"At any rate, I came here to apologize for Dr. Warwicks unfortunately horrid meeting with you today. She can be a bit," Evony paused, tilted her head and continued with, "of an asshole."Lauren was taken aback and blinked a few times in silence while giving Evony, her new superior, an incredulous look.

"Oh, don't worry. She's been a pain in my ass for years," Evony stated, not caring if she came off as crass in front of her new employee. "And I encourage you to tell her I said that. I find that irritating her is quite entertaining."

With that, Evony turned around to walk toward the hall just outside Lauren's office. She stopped and looked over her shoulder and said, "Ta, dear."

Lauren sat back at her desk and whispered," Did that really just happen?"

xxxx

Beside a demolished pizza box on the grass, Kenzi splayed out on the ground, sunglasses back on to cover her eyes from the sun.

The shutter sounding from Nadia's direction earned a middle finger from Kenzi.

"This will be great for my photography collection of 'Things Kenzi Gets Herself Into," Nadia taunted.

"Can you add a 'Things That Kenzi Does to Nadia In Her Sleep'?"

"Change it to 'Things Dr. Hotpants Will Do to Nadia In Her Not Sleep' and you've got a deal," Nadia replied. "Now, get up; we have gotta go."

"World's worst idea ever!"

"You know, you do eventually have to..I don't know...learn?"

"I'm tooo full to move! Don't tell me what to do," Kenzi whined while she tapped her stomach lightly.

"I told you to stop eating that much pizza. And what did you tell me after your first bite?"

"That you hate me?"

"You said, "I could eat this entire thing by myself, but whatever I say, do not let me eat more than four slices..'"

"You obviously failed to stop me from this oh-so-bittersweet heavenly goodness."

"Then, you just licked the rest of the slices to 'claim' them so I wouldn't eat it," Nadia accused as she scrunched her nose in disgust.

"Lies and slander," Kenzi said through a sigh.

"Yes, I am a horrible liar. Come on, we class in like half an hour." Nadia poked her stomach.

"No need. I'm gonna die here," Kenzi whined. "Plus, do you know what we have to do in our next class? Math. Math, Nadia. It's torture. When am I ever gonna try to calculate when some dude rows a boat at whatever speed while another dude on a jet to find when they collide?"

"That example is elementary."

"And why are there letters in Math? Why?!"

"Do you even pay attention in your courses?"

"You know I usually play fruit ninja in the back row."

"How in the world did you get accepted to this place?"

"Ugh. Grandma gave a donation. I have to do this or I don't get my inheritance."

"I kind of hate you right now."

"Rude."

Kenzi sat up and used Nadia for support, and there was a slight bulge from her full stomach that Kenzi touched in agony.

"Alright. Let's go," Nadia announced.

They walked, and when they covered around one hundred paces, Kenzi stopped and bent over, her hands places in her knees. She gasped and managed to say, through broken breaths, "I. Cant. Move. I can't.. I can't breathe. I think I just got asthma. Can you...can you just get asthma?"

Nadia just looked at Kenzi, blinked, and pinched her the bridge of her nose. "No, you doofus. You're out of shape and full. Maybe you should throw up or something."

"No, I am not wasting the pizza!"

They both took a minute, waiting for Kenzi to gather her breath when they heard a slight hum behind them.

"Well, I see you've stayed on campus rather then sleeping off your intoxication," they both froze at the voice. Nadia deduced the words enough to know this was the evil blonde from Kenzi's class, the new professor.

"Oh, hammer and tongs, this is really happening," Kenzi whispered to herself. She turned around and looked at Doctor What's-Her-Face.

"Um, hey, um professor.. "Kenzi sputtered and cleared her throat to continue, "New professor?"

Now in a more coherent state of mind, Kenzi took in the form of her new professor. She was blonde and gorgeous in a biting sort of way.

Tamsin just smiled, and she kind of looked evil, at least to Kenzi, and fired back,"Listen, kid, I kinda forgot your name. Had you been on time and not drunk, you would have caught my name. It's Doctor Warwick."

"Right. I'm Kenzi. It's technically 'Mackenzie,' but three syllable names creep me out." Nadia elbowed Kenzi's side, earning a surprised grunt." So, just Kenzi, and my friend here is Nadia. Na-Di-Ah."

"Wish I could say it's a pleasure but no," Tamsin sighed impatiently. "When you stop by my office, Kenzi, you will receive your new coursework." Tamsin turned, eager to leave the exchange, lest she say something crude, and walked a few steps before -

"Well, fuck me," Kenzi muttered and puffed her cheeks to blow out a breath.

"What did you just say?" Tamsin asked, her eyebrows up in amusement.

"That was audible?"

Tamsin lifted an eyebrow and just turned and walked away with in overly confident strut.

...

"So..Am I in trouble?" Kenzi asked, her eyes wide and hands fidgetting on hands fidgeting on he lap.. "Because, I am so sorry. My eyes are bigger than my stomach when it comes to alcohol."

Tamsin leaned back in her chair and raised her eyebrows. "Are you even legal to drink?"

"Um.. You know what? Maybe it was just the flu?"

As she leaned back into her chair, she snorted and folded her arms across her chest. "I really don't give a shit about that. I'm just wondering how in the world you got accepted into this place. I mean, your SAT scores are amazing, but your...intelligence doesn't show in your grades.

"Well, in my defence, I took a bunch of shrooms...totes by accident...like... a few hours before and made me suddenly super mart," Kenzi huffed. Then she hurried to explain, "I mean..shit. Foot in mouth always comes out at the wrong times."

To Kenzi's surprise, Tamsin burst out laughing.

"You are a fucking trip shrimp."

"Hey!"

"Look. I just wanted to scare the shit out of you... you know, make an example out of you in front of the others. But, I gotta say, I think you kinda scare yourself."

"Just because I dress like this doesn't mean that-"

"Yeah... bored now," Tamsin draweled. "Now, get out of my office. I have one episode left of Dexter."

xx

"What a day from the Twilight Zone, man," Kenzi grunted, her face contorted in a grimace. She was alone in her apartment, but the need to verbalize her thoughts didn't hold her back from talking to the air.

She sprawled across her worn couch, suddenly feeling a little sorry that her sister had been subjected to it for sleep. It was dirty, sure, but it was also comfortable as she could afford. That fact that she found it on the curb would remain a secret from her older sister. She febreezed the shit out of it just hours before Lauren's arrival. The days always took a large toll on her energy level. Kenzi wasn't surprised seeing as she tended to eat junk food six days out of the week.

The clock indicated that she had three hours until she had to head to the seminar in Emeryville that required a ten minute drive with the car that she borrowed from Nadia.

"You can use it whenever. I don't like driving anyway. The drive from Toronto to here totally turned me off of cars," Nadia had said. She pays Nadia in pizza and meatballs from little hole-in-the-wall place on telegraph. It works out perfectly. She also plays wingman on a few weekends. It's harder than she thought since she had to remain somewhat sober to attract attention enough to introduce her 'French Friend' Nadia who somehow convinces that she is from France with her poorly-disguised Quebecois French. Probably the alcohol.

Her rest was interrupted by her phone buzzing on her table. She lolled her head to the phone she had placed on the coffee table. With a sigh, she picked up, not bothering to look at the caller ID.

"Nadia, I can't play poonani catcher tonight. Seminar, remember?"

"What?" She heard Lauren ask. She could just imagine the furrowed brows on her sister.

"Ugh. It's just you. What can I do for you, Miss Buzzkill."

She heard Lauren sigh.

"Kenzi, I'm going to be late tonight. I know I promised a family dinner, but I am swamped in my work. Can we reschedule for tomorrow?"

"Oh shit, we were gonna have family dinner, tonight?"

"You forgot?"

"Kinda forgot about it after I puked all over campus."

"What?! Are you okay? Do you need me to come home now?"

"Noooo, Lo. I'm a big girl now. I can wipe my ass and everything. I just had a monster hangover from last night."

"Speaking of, we are gonna have a talk about your failed test."

"How do you know that," Kenzi asked with a shrill. She looked around the room, wondering if Lauren was just hiding about in her apartment. "I'm a freakin' adult! You're not my mom!"

Silence and a breath, and a hint of resignation, she heard Lauren say, "No, but I'm the closest one you have right now."

"Shit, sorry. I...look, I'm sorry, okay? I have a seminar tonight, so don't wait up."

"Please don't make it a repeat of last night."

"I don't even remember most of last night," Kenzi defended.

"Exactly. I'd hate to see then state of your liver right now. Please, just be careful."

"Roger that, Lo. I am gonna march myself into a nice, hot bath. Love you."

"I love you too, Kenzi."

xxx

Lauren was woken for the second night in a row by a not-so-sneaky Kenzi who poorly hid her slight intoxication. Lauren was thankful at least for the fact that Bo had yet again brought her sister home safely, and she had offered yet another awkward thanks.

"She, uh.. she kinda went overboard on the vodka," Bo admitted. "Then, she tried to soak it up with hot dogs and sliders."

Lauren ran a hand through her messy blonde locks. "Kenzi?"

"Yep. I'm kinda busy spinning with the room right now. Shhh," Kenzi slurred. "I can't afford to spend anymore money on this merry-go-round-and-and-round. Lauren, can you please help me off? This isn't... this isn't.. Bo?.. What's the word I'm thinking?"

"Uh.. I think you wanted to get off the ride because it's...I don't know.. Fun?"

"Yes! That's it. It's not fun."

Lauren helped Kenzi to the couch and walked to the kitchen to get a cup of water. "Here. Drink some and go to bed."

"You are so mean!"

Lauren sighed, slightly annoyed. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

Bo shifted from foot to foot, watching the exchange at the front of the door. "I'm gonna head out. Tell Kenzi she owes Nadia meatballs for puking in her car."

"What?! Did you let her drive?"

"No, of course not. We took a cab. The car is still at the hotel."

"Hotel?"

"Oh... oh damn. I guess she didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what exactly?"

"She is so gonna kill me.. I do this seminar."

"Go on."

"It's a 'I'm a lady beast: Hear My Lady Bits Roar."

Lauren coughed after inhaling her own pit and sputtered, "Excuse me?"

"Um. Yeah, Kenzi.. she's my assistant. She's actually pretty great at it. Anyway, please remember to tell Kenz.. Car, Puke, Meatballs."

Lauren watched Bo turn to walk away. She was confused more than ever.


End file.
